Unconditional Lust

Act now and receive 50% off.

For the first time only, you can save on a limited supply of unconditional lust. This normally costs as much as three dinners, two movies, one day window shopping, three hours hiking, one stomachache from laughing too much, four days of kissing, 368 witty responses, one night dancing, and non-stop attention. Act now and save 50% with this coupon. In order to redeem this coupon, you must comment the following information back to qualify*.

-Do you like drama (why or why not)?
-How many women do you date at one time?
-How old do you act?
-How old do you look?
-How old are you (optional)?
-Do you own a U-Haul or have an account with them?
-Do you have any extra toasters at your house? If so, how many?
-What are your opinions on the lesbian community's term for "good looking"?
-Do you smoke, drink, do drugs?
-What do you think of Mullets?
-What was the last book, magazine, and news paper you read?
-If your answer to reading was "what?", What was the last TV show you watched?
-What is your favorite music genre?
-What were the last 5 MP3's you downloaded (If you don't know what MP3's are, think C3PO on Star Wars)?
-Do you play a musical instrument?
-If you could be a famous actor or actress, who would you want to be?
-Do you play sports
-If so, which one(s)?
-Do you play billiards, eight-ball, nine-ball, straight, or snooker?
-What was the longest time period between dating (another words, longest time single)?
-Do you work out?
-How many hair colors have you dyed your hair?
-Do you skate, snowboard, surf, wakeboard - dude?
-What vegetable do you dislike the most?
-How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

*You must be a lesbian over the physical age of 25 to qualify. Men are automatically disqualified. Bi and transgender female are encouraged to apply, but qualifications are at the discretion of management.