Haggish, Embittered Angry Chick Seeks Arrogant, Self Centered Man
I mean, why gloss over our issues, why not *wallow* in them?
Given that all the good men are taken and those left over are those who should be left over, and somehow I, in all my cuteness and perfection, forgot that marriage and family actually keeps a woman from wanting to commit suicide or dying young in an overheated assisted living facility, okay, well maybe that's wrong, but actually keeps a woman...hell, never mind. Anyway given that I actually forgot about the marriage and children part until a year ago, then woke up to the fact that all the good men were taken...but still wanted companionship and one baby, maybe...
...I still find myself half-assedly cruising the personals in the newspaper looking for ONE MAN who's looking for something more than a blow job in high heels. Hope springs psychotic.
I am hot, brown hair and eyes, look a little like whatshername in "Funny Face" on a good day, smart, bored, funny. Never married, no children. No issues beyond mystification and impatience, and slight emotional intimacy terror. Looking for grown-up man [howl] who is NOT terrified of my stealing his soul or bank account, interested, in the face of all adversity in finding someone to talk to and be friends with, and then maybe have sex with, and then maybe read the paper with, and then maybe discuss partnership with. I estimate that this will take about 25 years to develop to the partnership- discussion phase.
You could be: irreverent, self-deprecating, brilliant or just quick on the uptake, established in your life, secure not smug, open, reasonably easy on the eyes, poor as a churchmouse or rich as a failed dotcommer CEO with an excellent golden parachute, able to deflect sarcasm and boundary pushing with a single droll comment...and a cat lover who has read Michael Ondaatje.
Or you could be someone completely else. I am high-maintenance verbally, low-maintenance logistically. The rest is impossible to detail with any accuracy in an ad.
Tell me what you think (if it's not designed to blow my ego to bits) and we'll process this interminably and maybe meet for...caramel squares or something.
Thanks!
posted @ 3/08/2006 09:25:00 AM
17 comments
17 Comments:
Being that you dident leave a pic. im inclined(note use if big 2 syllable word) to make a picture of you in my mind bssed on your writings. I really like the way you look.
hello.. I should be working, but I can only do so much of that in a week. Anyway, I sometimes tend to use the random button to view blogs. Had to give it a try to see what the whole blog thing was all about. Anyway, its amazing all the different things people put in their blogs, mostly shit, but things anyway. So here I am, at your blog leaving you a comment.. I agree with many of your observations about the good ones being gone.. Although I would never give up the things i have done, and where i am today. Sometimes its great being single..
Well, as the saying goes men are like parking spaces--they are either already taken or they are handicapped.
The comedian Jimmy Carr said that "male gypsy moths can smell female gyspy moths up to five miles away. The same applies if you remove the word moth." Its not really relevant, I just thought it was funny.
Skip marraige, lots of willing sperm donors in any bar or gym. You'll collect child support without a divorce and live happily ever after.
No wonder you're single, you don't understand English! I said find yourself a sperm donor, didn't say you were a sperm bank.
However, if that's your real picture I wouldn't mind make a few deposits, oh hell, I think I'd like to open a certificate of deposit for at least 3 months.
Been married twice now, if you consider being with the same person for 15+ years lucky then enjoy.
Got to go now, we're going to stare each other down at dinner.
Your blog says it all and you shouldn't have any problem with someone responding to it.
Wow...I've never struggled with wether or not to be everything you would want in a man or a best friend that happens to be a pharmicist or doctor.
Quit scanning the want ads, quit contemplating what status you think you need to be by now, and quit contemplating stealing something that is not yours.
Start focusing that extremely intensednessaliciouslyextravertadnessish on being focused.
You're rare..recognize that.
Thanks
sYes, I think you're gorgeous, but I can't help feeling like I've read this very post somewhere else––could it be that someone has ripped you off OR do you go to a certain writing group in SF . . . I had to laugh when I scrolled down to the N-judah story, which I've not read yet, but the N was my favorite place to make a date . . . onward . . .
Whoa. Wallowing in bitterness, or merely facing a reality that you feel will not be overcome?
Perhaps, just perhaps, the glass could be half full - meaning you have only yet to meet the good one that hasn't been taken yet.
Optimisim helps. At least that's what I have to tell myself.
Nice post. Though I think you'll find the cocky men are the ones who are all taken. The ones who initially seem charming and may or may not turn out to be tossers.
If you want to find the other ones you have to go find them. But not on nights out. Go find something interesting to do where you'll meet people. Societies, volunteering, whatever...
Interetsing blog. Bookmarked!
You sound wonderful! What is wrong with the men in this world? I know that there are good ones out there, somewhere. Keep your chin up. I hope you find the man of your dreams!!
Enjoyed your wit. A great read.
Maybe look for, ask for and demand that a man be willing to love you for the rest of your life and no other.
No sex, by the way, until this is the condition. This has been proven to be a very successful technique to happiness!
Married to one woman for 27 years and she is still the most attractive and exciting woman in the world in my eyes. The above formula was the one we chose and it works.
I am always pleased to think that she is the only woman for me, and I love to tell her so - and she knows it is true. I always wanted to be a man of commitment, and I am working on that for the rest of my life.
Of course we don't start off as people of commitment, it is a choice we make and then spend the rest of our life making daily choices that makes this wish come true.
This is why it appears the good ones are taken - they are the ones in the process of becoming men of commitment - they weren't at one time, but now they are in the process of becoming....
So decide to become a woman of commitment, and you will attract a man of commitment to yourself... guaranteed.
Peace.
i like the way you write. it is humourous depressing and intoxicating. much like life.
may the best come to you and good luck in the future!
Hi,
I accidently landed up here but could not resist my self from leaving a comment. You writings are straight from the heart. I liked it.
Love
Snigdha
Today's your lucky day! I'm looking for MUCH more than a BJ in high heels!
There's also the backrub, the bustier, and the t*tty-f*ck!
Hee.
Sorry, couldn't resist! Love the blog!
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