Coolest Girl Ever Seeks Same...

"definitely the coolest girl in the bay area, if not the entire western hemisphere!"
---new york times

"humble as pie. really arrogant pie."
---the Montclarion

"shockingly brilliant, yet disturbingly smart-assed"
---utne reader

"i desire her friendship more than i desire bejeweled platinum jewelry"
---p. diddy

"the best writer since francine pascal and ann m. martin, hands down."
---"highlights for children"

"sexier than robert plant and britney spears spears wrestling beneath a glorious waterfall of olive oil and glitter"
---justin timberlake

"more fun to listen to than most music, creed and dave matthews excluded"
---the guy from creed and a guy who likes dave matthews

"friendly as a kitten on ecstasy, minus the fur and glowstick"
---CatFancy

"i would come out of my secret hiding place just for a chance at her friendship."
---VP dick cheney

"i'm just glad she lets me borrow her clothes"
---chloe sevigny

"unable to go eight minutes without a pop culture reference that clearly indicates her age of 23. a delightful young lady who desires some lady friends with whom i can hang out; zoom around the east and west bay; go to dive-y bars that have good music and strong drinks; watch things (such as people, movies, family ties, clouds, boiling water, growing grass, progressing politics, unfortunate fashion trends, the litter and scum layer that floats on lake merritt, etc.); talk about cool books that we have read/are reading/pretend to have read ("yeah, i LIKED foucault's first one, but it was his other one that really grabbed me"..."yeah i agree, but it's 'ulysses' that i come back to again and again"), likewise with music and interesting facts and general life observations...please be able to spell, vote, name at least four world leaders, and tell when i am being sarcastic and when i am being sarcastic."

i look forward to making your aquaintance, new best friends whom i have yet to meet. we shall have so much fun. don't delay--i can hear the banging at the door, can sense my inbox swelling. act within a reasonable amount of time and receive a handy carrying case AND a limited edition american flag musical plate that plays "kashmir."

!!!!!!!