Monday, March 13, 2006

Coolest Girl Ever Seeks Same...

"definitely the coolest girl in the bay area, if not the entire western hemisphere!"
---new york times

"humble as pie. really arrogant pie."
---the Montclarion

"shockingly brilliant, yet disturbingly smart-assed"
---utne reader

"i desire her friendship more than i desire bejeweled platinum jewelry"
---p. diddy

"the best writer since francine pascal and ann m. martin, hands down."
---"highlights for children"

"sexier than robert plant and britney spears spears wrestling beneath a glorious waterfall of olive oil and glitter"
---justin timberlake

"more fun to listen to than most music, creed and dave matthews excluded"
---the guy from creed and a guy who likes dave matthews

"friendly as a kitten on ecstasy, minus the fur and glowstick"
---CatFancy

"i would come out of my secret hiding place just for a chance at her friendship."
---VP dick cheney

"i'm just glad she lets me borrow her clothes"
---chloe sevigny

"unable to go eight minutes without a pop culture reference that clearly indicates her age of 23. a delightful young lady who desires some lady friends with whom i can hang out; zoom around the east and west bay; go to dive-y bars that have good music and strong drinks; watch things (such as people, movies, family ties, clouds, boiling water, growing grass, progressing politics, unfortunate fashion trends, the litter and scum layer that floats on lake merritt, etc.); talk about cool books that we have read/are reading/pretend to have read ("yeah, i LIKED foucault's first one, but it was his other one that really grabbed me"..."yeah i agree, but it's 'ulysses' that i come back to again and again"), likewise with music and interesting facts and general life observations...please be able to spell, vote, name at least four world leaders, and tell when i am being sarcastic and when i am being sarcastic."

i look forward to making your aquaintance, new best friends whom i have yet to meet. we shall have so much fun. don't delay--i can hear the banging at the door, can sense my inbox swelling. act within a reasonable amount of time and receive a handy carrying case AND a limited edition american flag musical plate that plays "kashmir."

!!!!!!!

15 Comments:

At Monday, March 13, 2006 10:11:00 AM, Blogger that girl said...

LOL...best post yet. Something I could see one of my wittier,smarter personalities writing. Damn that oppressive medication!

 
At Monday, March 13, 2006 8:13:00 PM, Blogger Shannie said...

I wish I were as funny as you, but then I guess I wouldn't be me then. So never mind. I retract that statement.

 
At Monday, March 13, 2006 9:35:00 PM, Blogger Lora_3 said...

Your being sarcastic!

 
At Monday, March 13, 2006 10:32:00 PM, Anonymous lifesux said...

great post post a few more like these!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 3:37:00 AM, Blogger Virus said...

Far be it from me to correct your post. But I will. You misquoted T-dog. It SHOULD read...

"sexier than robert plant and britney spears spears wrestling beneath a glorious waterfall of extra virgin olive oil and glitter"

I luckily had tivo-ed the Late Night Show where he talked about your sexiness. If you want a copy, let me know!

 
At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 1:08:00 PM, Blogger Gentleman-hobbs said...

A really interesting outlook on life and so many famous friends (sic). Obviously I am not alone in my rantings or half as mad as people tell me. Good luck and remember....
be pure
Be vigilent
Behave

 
At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 1:49:00 PM, Blogger Ronymaru. said...

.

 
At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 1:53:00 PM, Blogger Cyrano De Bergerac said...

Ha ha. Love your sense of humour. Look forward to reading more about you.

 
At Wednesday, March 15, 2006 12:50:00 AM, Blogger C. said...

good shit, girl...
(tooooooook)
(cough cough)
I likes....
just like Jah.....

aaaaahhhhhhh....

 
At Wednesday, March 15, 2006 6:18:00 AM, Blogger Freeman76 said...

Love your stuff. Look forward to more.

 
At Wednesday, March 15, 2006 10:29:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its definately a good one.

 
At Thursday, March 16, 2006 4:30:00 AM, Blogger morfel01 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At Friday, March 17, 2006 12:39:00 PM, Blogger Sonny Shine said...

Do you really need a new friend? I would love to be your new friend. Talk to me and I will be your new friend. I've been kinda down in the mouth, so to speak, lately these days and your blog cheers me up! Life is never as bad as it seems.

 
At Tuesday, March 21, 2006 4:38:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

kool

 
At Wednesday, March 22, 2006 3:08:00 AM, Anonymous hihihi said...

This is some really cool stuff...

 

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