Friday, March 24, 2006

Sorry to the Young Man at the Train Station

i accidently looked up (i really didn't mean to) and you said hi and started to introduce yourself. now i'm very friendly in the right situations, but i've noticed a trend in my life where i get picked up on by very young, and often very persistent men (such as yourself ) all too often, now i know, i shouldn't really complain-- it IS flattering and I'm told i look young for my old, old, old age -- did i mention i'm old? i was actually one of those old young people, but now that i'm getting older it seems i'm getting younger, strange- i know-- but when i realized it was happening again the words came out before i thought about it . .

"i'm reading"

What a crime to humanity it is (i know, i know!!) when these are the first words to come out of my mouth in response to a self introduction that occurs on a bench surrounded by strangers (some of whom might or might not be a) a bit unusual or b) making odd noises..) Please keep in mind that i am the only girl on a bench with three other guys sitting nearby in an isolated area of the train station ( i didn't plan it exactly and although i'm not USUALLY so uptight but they do air those announcements about being aware of your surroundings at the station, right?)

You then proceeded to be even nicer, stood up to leave and said that you had really just wanted to tell me that i was beautiful. Wow. Then I couldn't say anything because it was even stranger then and well.. what could I say?! I know, many gracious things that never occur at the right moment. I was very flattered. Why didn't I just say, thanks, you too. Or how about, hi, my name is____ would you like to woo me here amidst all the strangers? Maybe we can sneak behind one of these handy ivory looking pillars and discuss your honorable intentions towards me now that we've met at the train station?

Well... this is the part where i always get in trouble. some guy goes out of his way for me and i remorselessly squash the attempt because i'm busy and the phrase some of you '"act like a got a sign my ass that says harrass me" does apply sometimes, so maybe you can see where i'm coming from. It's kind of a hard twist, but you have to understand how hard it is to be a girl out on public transport alone sometimes.. truth be told, you were probably the nicest guy who sat on the bench, but I don't know that and "a stranger is a stranger" and what is more, "niceness" comes in so many different forms, some of them more clingy than others (which is to be avoided at train stations in case you didn't know).

I would give you an A for attempt (everyone get's one if they try), another A for your smile, but a F for venue and a D for pronounciation. You really have to work on that, i just want to tell you to be nice, because i kinda thought you might still be trashed from Saturday night from the way you spoke (which was partially what startled me into my silence in the first place) but anyway..

Now i would normally grade myself on my own response here, but i never took the "how to get hit on correctly" class and as it appears, i have really bad manners in that area (which is admitedly a terrible, terrible thing) and i can't stand getting bad grades, so I will simply appologize and wonder how i can just say thank you next time or maybe smile bigger, but screw it don't I have a certain right not to get hit on in certain situations (can you just smile at me or something?).. or go ahead .. say something to me.. but don't ask for anything like.. my name or my phone number.. and for crying out loud, don't hit on me then ask for change..

. . .okay.. so here's my long story short: if you're the right guy and it's the right moment, maybe we have something to work with and i love to meet both men AND women - but as my mother tells it, she once quipped to a man trying to pick her up on the street, "Don't try to get fresh with me" and laughed. What a crack up she is sometimes-- but this is the same lady who I once saw grapple with a mugger for her purse and send the dumbass running down the street. So you see I am not the girl you're looking for. . . not only am I leary, but my 27+ honorary 10 or so extra years of experience imbibe me with a certain amount of weariness to boot. You seemed sweet (and maybe not drunk?) as you walked away whoever you were, next time you may have better luck if you try to be a little more aware of the kind of place you try to meet us girls in before you lay it all out there ok? It's not all our responsibilty to take care of your feelings, it is our responsibilty to take care of ourselves.

For my part, next time i'll try to be nicer about it and try not to worry if it's not exactly the perfect moment so much. But it might help us solve this ongoing (says hi / doesn't say hi / acts stuck-up or whatever) issue if more guys can remember, if you can't catch the girl in the right situation, maybe you shouldn't try to catch her. If a girl seems open to it, go for it! Otherwise, respect a girls' space (mental and physical) and just be glad her kind are free to roam the earth.

peace!

15 Comments:

At Friday, March 24, 2006 12:08:00 PM, Blogger plsbehot said...

Good lord do you have issues!!!

 
At Friday, March 24, 2006 5:43:00 PM, Blogger Jessicass said...

it's ok. i liked that you said hello to me.

 
At Friday, March 24, 2006 8:53:00 PM, Blogger mrj said...

I thought I was special. You have more special needs than me. Seriously, thanks for the blog, I dig it.

 
At Friday, March 24, 2006 11:22:00 PM, Blogger "K" Fingerett said...

Your blog is very fun. I just found this blog of yours and couldn't leave. I sat here and read [pretty much] all of the posts and comments. Great stuff! I'm just sorry I hadn't found it sooner!

I'm kinda new to Blogger- and I saw that you don't mind people linking so I'll be sure to put you on my blog for the few that stumble across my page :\

Stop by if you have time :) I'd like that.

I'll be back again...


~K Fingerett
(anotherfingerett.blogspot.com)

 
At Saturday, March 25, 2006 2:28:00 AM, Blogger Imperfect said...

lmao....tht was fun..nic blog there...

 
At Saturday, March 25, 2006 8:01:00 AM, Blogger Gra_iluminada said...

Hi! I was just looking around, trying to find interesting blogs to read, when suddenly, I found yours. You write really well. Greetings from Argentina.

 
At Saturday, March 25, 2006 11:55:00 AM, Blogger Manel said...

From portugal with love.
Your blog is very cool if you want visit mine(www.batalhadeestrelas.blogspot.com)

 
At Saturday, March 25, 2006 11:55:00 AM, Blogger Manel said...

From portugal with love.
Your blog is very cool if you want visit mine(www.batalhadeestrelas.blogspot.com)

 
At Saturday, March 25, 2006 9:56:00 PM, Blogger BULLSEYE said...

Well, alrighty then...

 
At Sunday, March 26, 2006 9:04:00 PM, Blogger Vengelyne said...

I dunno... I would've given the guy credit for having the balls to approach a girl like that IN public...

Most guys I know are just plain chicken shit here. Bah.

 
At Sunday, March 26, 2006 9:42:00 PM, Anonymous 13ology said...

Guy approaches girl = Usually unkindly labelled despo or a network marketeer

Guy doesn't approach girl = Plain chicken shit

Brilliant isn't it

 
At Monday, March 27, 2006 7:31:00 AM, Anonymous Aaron said...

I understand why you reacted to a stranger as you did, but you gave him an 'F' for venue, and I think that's a little unfair. When someone sees an opportunity to approach another, sometimes it must be done regardless of venue. It's not as if you're in his class and he'll see you tomorrow - he'll never see you again. Ever. Odds are. We have a weekly paper in Toronto called NOW Magazine (www.nowtoronto.com) and they have an 'I spy' or 'missed connect' classified section where you can post a message to someone you met/saw/fell-in-love-with in public but either didn't have the guts to say anything, or wanted to say more. Here is a sample:

Friendly Smile waiting for the #504 streetcar at King and University posted: March 19, 2006, 09:23 PM

St. Patricks Day around 9:30pm. You: alone, long black hair, intoxicating smile, brown cowboy boots, brown knee highs, beige wool skirt, blue/black sweater jacket -- at least I think it was! Me: tall, beige wool overcoat, dark dress pants, black baseball cap, blue scarf. I advised you that there wasn't a street car coming; you went inside to keep warm; street car was near so I went to knock on the window where you were standing inside to let you know. You thanked me outside. Something about you. I got off at Niagra -- I should have said more! Coffee? (http://toronto.nowtoronto.com/personals/classifieds/Disclaimer?category=5430)

Is there anything like this in your city?

Regards,

Aa

 
At Monday, March 27, 2006 8:02:00 AM, Blogger artgyrl said...

Wow. I really enjoyed this entry. I thought it was very honest and true. There's definitely a time and place for everything.

 
At Monday, March 27, 2006 4:24:00 PM, Blogger Thomas said...

"I forgive you."

- young man from the train station

 
At Tuesday, March 28, 2006 5:32:00 PM, Blogger PIA said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

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