Monday, February 13, 2006

Butt Sniffing Strongly Encouraged

Female party animal seeks handsome mixed mutt for playground fun. This she-dawg likes many things, but truly seeks to run around the fire hydrant with a hound that will race to nibble her ankles easily and often, that enjoys experimentation, especially on the old wool blanket, and doesn't mind nibbling on a little herb. We can be pals or more, it'll depend on your smell... But it'll have to me a strong chemistry before we ever hit the dog house blanket together... or lots of liquor accidently spilled into the ol' water bowl! {{howl!!}}

I can assure you that I am a very playful and adventurous and a pretty mixed-breed with a steady stream of kibble to my bowl, and my own playground. You would love partying with me. I'm easy going and easy to please. I am also open to steady play dates and more with just the right scoundrel.

But right now this she-dawg just wants to have fun after a long week out in the world. And if you would scratch me behind my ears, I just might lick your face. Please don't bark up my tree unless you are seriously ready for a change of pace - a breath of fresh air. I ain't no ordinary alley stray - I'm the one that's been locked in the yard and wants to see what everyone else has been doing. My coat and teeth are shiny and clean, and my tail has that special wag of anticipation. Come on, let's pant and droll on the rug together!

All breeds encouraged to toss a bone into the bowl, bonus points to all that had their maleness snipped. No puppies for this bitch!

My expectation from this: Nothing more than a new playground friend to run around the neighborhood with, or just snuggle up with on the living room fur rug (I'm not allowed on the couch) with some great tunes and maybe some mutual belly rubbing 'til our legs go crazy in mid-air. Be aware that I'm not looking for matching dog collars, I'm looking for a playmate that doesn't use chain link fence, and no long ropes to a tree out in the yard. A collarless romp in the yard sounds pretty good to this old dog entering the second half of Life. The only ropes in our yard will be silk scarves from my master's drawer. ;-)

And hey, I don't need you to bury a bone for me, but if we could maybe share some Kibbles 'n Bits occasionally I think it'd be nice. Smoky doggy-breath and fleas are deal breakers, but a snoring hound dog is okay with me. I won't even banish you to the back porch. :-)

If you're between 252 and 343 in dog years, I'd love to hear your growl and maybe even your bark! I am 5'5", have a great laugh and an easy smile, a devilish twinkle in my eye, a delicious curvy body with nary a stray patch of fur, and a totally open mind that is 301 dog years young.

Come on baby - let's howl at the moon together!!! Hey! I live near a fire station too - that should bring some great howl opportunities as well. So bring over your frisbee or old chew sock and let's enjoy some time getting to know one another. But be forewarned that currently "owned" hounds will be tossed to the curb!

Please tell me more about your lineage, your breed, and your personal playground dream. You need to say more than "arf-arf" to attract my attention! I'm the show-dog who's tired of prancing around the ring... what's your story?

P.S. Butt sniffing strongly encouraged. :-)

4 Comments:

At Tuesday, February 14, 2006 3:14:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm an Australian cattle dog who's hung like a bull. I like playing frisbee and chasing cats. I like drinking my masters liquor. I have a video of my master driving me to the park. Listen to it carefully and you can hear me in the back seat howling. I love the back seat.

 
At Wednesday, February 15, 2006 5:24:00 PM, Blogger BigTimmy said...

I am in love with this post. I want to know if you have a problem with me stealing the idea for something farcical, whismsical, and light that I am working on?

 
At Thursday, February 16, 2006 9:00:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For BigTimmy only, yes. Post a link to what your working on here so we can all check it out when you are done.

 
At Monday, February 20, 2006 6:19:00 AM, Blogger freeman76 said...

That was hilarious!

 

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