Dinner whore?
I'm a woman. Sometimes I go on dates. Often, dates involve dinner. I almost always offer to throw in some cash. Usually the guy who asked me out won't accept my money. If I don't want to go out with him again, should I mail him my half of the check in an envelope? Am I a 'dinner whore' if i don't? I don't think so.
It's hard to find that chemistry we all seek. It's hard for men, and it's hard for us women. The first date is to see if we feel anything for each other. If I don't feel we clicked, I don't want to waste my time or your time by going on a second date. Maybe that's the case with the girls you call "dinner whores." They just don't really want another date with you. I doubt they'd endure all that awful, awkward getting-to-know-you chitchat just for a free dinner. A bad date (even over lobster) is as boring as a timeshare seminar, and timeshare seminars at least offer you a free week in Vegas at the end of the presentation. Christ, people.
Aside from a few sociopaths, women aren't predatory creatures scheming of ways to seperate you from your cash. Shit, if we can afford to live in San Francisco, we can afford our own dinners. Like you, we're just fumbling along, hoping we find someone cute and fun who won't hurt us too much.
posted @ 4/04/2006 08:55:00 AM
11 comments
11 Comments:
If you don't click on the first date and don't want another that fine. Just be clear and speak in small word about not wanting to go on another date. This will hep most of us who always think everything went fine, because we are moron.
Gold diggers qualify as dinner whores. Or Dinner whores DELUXE, or something.
I've noticed dating when you are in your 30's is so much different than when you are a teenager. Back then, if they had a car, that was all that mattered. Now, it's like we want them to be someone smart, witty, and cute, etc. etc. and like you said, won't hurt us too much.
I met a guy through an online dating site. We e-mailed, talked, clicked. We decided we would meet in person. He invited me to lunch - "my treat, I insist," he said. I chose the spot, a Thai restaurant near my job. "Okay, it's a date," he said. We meet, he brings me a rose, and we walk to restaurant.
We get to the restaurant (the one we discussed in advance), and he goes through a mini-freak out because they don't serve Sweet & Sour Chicken. He orders a shrimp and rice dish, I order Pad Thai. He eats with his fork and hands simultaneously. He waves a bamboo shoot at me, "I've never seen one of these before." When it's time for the check, he sang the chorus from Kanye West's, "Gold Digger," loud enough for me to hear and pays the bill.
Because we weren't clicking in person, I was preparing to pay for lunch until he implied I was out for the cash. When he pulled that stunt, I let him pay.
Does this then make me a lunch whore? An inquiring mind would love to know.
I agree if someone offers to pay, let them. Theres nothing wrong with accepting. Funny blog!
I think you're a great writer and I enjoy your blog. Keep it up.
Just not getting hurt too much is always the goal. And no one wants to go through all that chitchat just for dinner. I'd so much rather just buy my own dinner.
tem--i cannot believe he snag 'goldigger.'
i would say no, you are not a lunch whore. you deserve more than pad thai for having to spend time with a man like that...
Hi
I'm confused. I come from a culture where there isn't as much pressure on the guy to pay. Actually, I pay more often than my partner. I am a feminist, however, and don't see why guys should have to foot the bill, just because they have a penis and we live in a patriarchal society.
It should be even. If you didn't split the bill, then it was his shout, as long as he offered. But perhaps next time, pay for what you had ... then, no regrets if you don't want to see the fella again.
Woman from New Zealand
urgh. the sucky part would be men takes you on these so-called date as false pretense to get to nail you in bed, and they seem to think that a $79 dinner makes up for it all, despite the fact that we have to endure the boring conversation, the senseless jokes.
thats why, nowadays, i pay for my share and i refuse to accept a 'no' from him. because if the date sucks, i'm free to leave anytime without him hounding me about him paying for dinner and the least i could do is listen to his lame-a** jokes.
so 'no', if you're boring, pls let me pay for dinner and then let me walk away and live in peace.
because i'm a woman, all i want is a little fun while on dates, enjoying good meals, great conversations and for once..real funny jokes..no more knock knocks.
i'm just a passing reader..pls..dont mind my presence..
Solve your own guilt problems, and next time PAY your half of the check, yes! you are a dinner whore, but obviously you aren't REALLY bothered by it.......so why do you write? Simply because you feel that you have paid your fair share just by putting up with the jerks. However, from their point of view......I doubt it was worth the cost of the meal to sit there with you for an hour. You sound like a real winner.......
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